At least make sure they are 18
Why
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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