Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
