farters have to be the big spoon...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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