Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
