Its about making memories worth repressing
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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