That's intense
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
