Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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