After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i've created a new STD.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
