I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can't put those talents on a resume
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
