My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
