zippers are such a cool invention
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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