I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
