Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
