I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
