I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
