East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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