so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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