You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
