i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I need water and some morals
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
