honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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