i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
