Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
