She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
