So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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