a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
