I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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