pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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