So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
