I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
