I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
