Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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