You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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