We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
