party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
