This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
