fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
