so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
