Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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