i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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