yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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