ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
