A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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