we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
