my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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