Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
