last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Randomize
