hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
