new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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