so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
