Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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