god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
