It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
