If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
