i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
MIDGETS
????
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
