I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
