She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
