So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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