its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
