I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
