the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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