i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
