While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Life is so much better after having sex.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it's like iHOP with fire
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
