Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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