I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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