i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so let's talk penis.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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