problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
