One girl and one boy is just not enough.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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