That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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