Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
