we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
