he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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