Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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