So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
