Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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