Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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