Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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