so explain again why im purple
no
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
