I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
